Seeker's Salvation
by Kyla Baines
Summary: When Leliana abandoned her after the final battle against the archdemon, Brynn Amell thought it was the end. When fate brings them together once again, neither are prepared for the emotions that threaten to overwhelm them both. A gift fic for Apollo Wings. One-shot.


**A/N: **_This is another gift fic for one of my loyal followers, __**Apollo Wings**__. She requested that I do a piece about a female mage warden reuniting with her love interest, Leliana, after the events of DA2. I must personally thank her not only for her unwavering support of my work, but also for this prompt: at first I wasn't certain about it, as I'd never even thought about doing a f/f romance before. I think that this really pushed my writing a lot, and I'm very grateful to her being the catalyst for this! I hope you enjoy, Apollo! Finally, a huge thank you goes out to my amazing beta for helping me polish this and make it believable. _

* * *

_Dragon 9:30_

_Amaranthine_

* * *

Brynn Amell had never felt so alone.

She was a mage, and was used to being shunned for her abilities. As one of the two remaining Ferelden Grey Wardens, this type of isolation was nothing new after a year of battling darkspawn. Somehow, though, in the last ten days, everything had fallen apart.

Alistair, her best friend and the only one of their group who had truly understood her burdens, had abandoned her. She wished she could go back and let him strike down Loghain. She'd naively thought that Alistair would see it her way – if Loghain lived through the Joining, he could bolster their numbers, just as Riordan had said. Her friend's hatred had blinded him, though. Maker only knew where he'd gone. Before the final battle, though, she had found out exactly how desperately they needed Loghain – without him, she or Alistair would have died. In the end, it had indeed been the teyrn who struck the final blow, dying for the cause. Victory was bittersweet, though, because of the void Alistair had left in his wake.

The rest of her friends had gone their separate ways after the archdemon had been defeated. All except one.

_Leliana_.

The bard with honeyed words and poisoned arrows had stayed, promising that they'd have many more grand adventures together. They'd planned on traveling to Orlais and sampling of its many delights. It had been her soft assurances and warm arms that had comforted her when everyone else had left. But none of that had mattered. She'd had Leliana, and so long as the two of them remained together, everything else would fall into place.

It was not to be.

After Brynn had spent hours shaking hands and smiling at the people of Denerim upon being declared their "hero," she'd escaped to the suite that she and Leliana shared in the castle. She could think of nothing better than falling into her lover's arms and speaking more about the future – _their_ future.

When she had entered the room, only her own staff and few belongings remained. The bed was neatly made and cold, devoid of Leliana's warmth and vitality. The lute that she had strummed while humming a sweet tune to Brynn was missing from its usual spot next to the oaken desk. The silk ribbons in blues, yellows, and reds that Leliana had loved to braid through Brynn's long, black tresses just after she'd bathed were not in their place in the vanity.

Her footsteps had echoed in the empty chamber, and she could still feel the lump that had risen in her throat. There was no trilling _cher coeur_ by means of greeting, no flash of red hair, or special smile reserved just for her. As she had looked desperately around the room for something – _anything_ – to let her know that Leliana was still here, her gaze had fallen upon the nightstand. An envelope sat alone.

Sitting now at her desk in Vigil's Keep, Brynn took a deep, shuddering breath and pulled the letter out one more time. She brought the parchment to her nose and inhaled – it still smelled faintly of the lily perfume that she'd given to Leliana their first time in Denerim. She'd given it to her after their first kiss, knowing instantly that her heart was Liana's forever. With trembling hands she unfolded the worn paper, reading the words that still cut her to her core.

_My Dearest Brynn,_

_I am so sorry that I must do this to you – regret will forever be in my heart. I've had another dream – a dream sent by the Maker. As surely as He led me to you in Lothering, I now must follow His will again. I cannot say where I am going, and I beg that you do not follow. _

_I hope that you can still think of me fondly. Perhaps our paths will cross again someday, _cher coeur_. My heart is eternally yours._

_L_

Brynn's eyes stung as she finished reading, and an errant tear fell from her eye. She dashed it away angrily. It would not do for the new Warden-Commander of Ferelden to show any signs of weakness – particularly when there was much work left to be done. She was done torturing herself over what could not be. With a final glance at the flowery words on the page, Brynn cast the note into the fire and strode out of the room.

* * *

_Dragon 9:37_

_Kirkwall_

* * *

Leliana stood in the shadows in Kirkwall. Her keen eyes searched for any signs of trouble. Though the battle between the templars and mages had ended months ago, she knew that there would always be those who sought to exploit the troubles of others to benefit themselves. The door to the estate across the courtyard opened, and a tall woman with dark hair and bronze eyes strode out. Leliana pushed off the wall and skipped over to join her.

Without meeting her eyes, the woman answered Leliana's unspoken question. "Gone… just like the warden."

Leliana didn't allow the pain that had never left to show on her face at the mention of her past lover. Cassandra still did not know exactly _how_ involved with the warden Leliana had been during the blight.

"That is no coincidence." With the uprising of the mages and near disintegration of the templars, Leliana suspected that these two powerful mages – Marian Hawke and Brynn Amell – likely only wished to be left alone while the world fought.

"So, do we proceed with the original plan, or do we keep looking?"

"It is in the Maker's hands now. We put our faith in Him."

Cassandra Pentaghast began to walk away, pausing long enough to look over her shoulder and say, "I must report to the Divine. Meet me at Val Royeaux when you have finished your business here."

Leliana nodded and left to meet her contact – the one that Cassandra had no knowledge of.

* * *

By the time she reached the foothills of Sundermount, the sun had already set, the moon's silvery beams of light filtering through the heavy pine boughs. Soundlessly, a figure materialized from the shadows and approached Leliana.

"How good it is to see you again, my dear," the elf said, his accent more pronounced than it had been seven years ago.

Leliana nodded her head in greeting. "Zevran. It has been a long time. I trust you enjoyed your time in Antiva?"

He shrugged gracefully and leaned against the nearest tree. "I suppose you could say that. I may have angered the Crows again by leaving, but now that most of them are dead – at the hand of none other than the elusive Marian Hawke - I believe I am moderately safe for the time being."

_Enough of these idle words._

"Where is the champion, Zevran?"

"Hmm, I cannot say for certain, _mi amiga_."

Leliana's eyes narrowed. "It is of great importance that I find her. I know you were one of the last people to see her before she disappeared with her mage lover. Please, tell me."

Zevran cocked his head. "I admit that I have grown rather fond of her, and before I say anything, I would have your assurances that you mean her no harm."

"You know I do not. Nevertheless, I must find her."

Zevran paused. "And what of the other mage the Seekers hunt?"

Leliana's heart stopped. "What mage do you speak of?"

"Why, the lovely Warden, of course," he replied with a smile. "I had thought that of all the people you could have searched for, you would have gone after her, first."

Speechless, memories of the time spent with her fair warden sprang unbidden to her mind. A gentle smile… raking her fingers through Brynn's thick hair… a soft hand upon her cheek… Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Leliana replied. "With your connections, I have no doubt that you know we've not been able to find her."

"True, _mi amiga_, very true." Zevran fell silent for a long moment. Just as Leliana was about to leave, he spoke quietly. "I last saw Hawke heading north. Exactly where they were going, she did not say."

"Thank you, Zevran."

* * *

Huge spires of stone jutted up amongst the trees, and as well-traveled as Leliana was, she'd never seen anything like this before. It was beautiful, hauntingly so.

It was also too quiet.

Not long ago, the birds that had been chirping had fallen silent, and the persistent wind that blew from the southern sea had faded to nothing. Leliana drew her bow and nocked an arrow. Pulling the missile back, she circled, eyes and ears attuned to her surroundings, straining to identify anything out of the ordinary.

She sensed an unfamiliar tingle in her left foot as she stepped back moments too late. A swirl of white light spiraled around her, lifting her off her feet and holding her immobile. The pressure caused her to release her arrow, which shot uselessly into a nearby tree. Her bow dropped from her numb fingers to the ground.

_Merde. This is _not_ good._

A man walked toward her. He carried an ebony mage's staff and wore unusual pauldrons of shiny black feathers. Leliana's mouth dropped open. She knew his face.

"Anders?" She was incredulous. Though Leliana had only met him briefly, the man who stood before her now was unmistakable. At his hands, Kirkwall's chantry had been demolished, and the Grand Cleric and other innocents had been murdered. After a cursory glance, she noticed that the worry lines on his brow were much more pronounced than when they had first seen one another. Perhaps this revolution that he'd incited was not sitting as well as he'd hoped.

He blanched once he recognized her. "Leliana. I suppose you're here on official Seeker business to kill me and all my friends, then?

She was silent for a moment.

_If Anders is here, that surely means that the Champion is as well. _

"No. Your fate is not for me to decide. You may have committed atrocities in the name of your cause, but I leave judgment to the Maker."

"No? What exactly are you doing in the middle of the Free Marches, if not to hunt me, then?" He appeared genuinely confused.

"I'm looking for the person who has the means to bring peace back to Thedas." She neglected to mention that Hawke was not the only one she searched for. Brynn was far out of her reach, though – she was certain of that.

"Hawke," he said with narrowed eyes. He tightened his grip on his staff before demanding, "What do you want with her?"

"Just to talk, for now. We know what happened in Kirkwall earlier this year. We know now that Hawke did not intentionally destroy the barriers between templar and mage."

There was silence but for the breeze. "Very well," Anders finally replied. "I'll take you to her. Let this be a warning, though: do not try to tear her away from the peace she's found against her will. If you do, I swear that I _will_ avenge her. That is something you do not want directed at you."

Leliana's eyes widened at the flash of blue that entered his eyes, but nodded in agreement.

Anders raised an arm and the white eddies of light retreated into his waiting palm. Leliana dropped to the ground, lightly catching herself on one knee. As Anders strode away, Leliana followed at a distance.

They entered a clearing where a small fire had been built. Two tents were pitched near the edge of the grassy area. Hawke sat near the warmth of the flames, holding her hands out in an attempt to chase away the late autumn chill. She looked up when Anders approached, a smile blossoming on her face.

It was the type of smile that Brynn used to give Leliana. Sharp pain shot through her chest at the harsh reminder of her lost love, something that she'd surely never be blessed to experience again.

When Hawke caught sight of her, though, the smile vanished. "Leliana?" she asked incredulously. "What in the Maker's name are you doing here?" She stood and angled herself in front of Anders.

Leliana held both hands up defensively. "I am not here for your man, Champion, I'm only here to –"

Her voice was stolen from her. A third person had pushed back the flap of their tent and stood tall. Leliana's heart skipped a beat as she recognized the long, dark hair plaited down her back, and nearly cried out at the worry in those cerulean eyes.

It was _her_.

Leliana's words ran dry, and from the wide-eyed look on Brynn's face, it seemed the same for her. There was little Leliana could think to say or do, so focused was she on the miraculous sight in front of her. Every night since she had left that accursed note in Denerim, she'd fallen prey to dreams of her sweet Brynn. Trapped in the Fade and unable to rouse herself, she'd been endlessly tormented by memories of that precious time they'd had together. Though their time hadn't been nearly enough, Leliana had thought she'd made peace with that. Seeing the woman before her now, it seemed she'd been wrong.

"Leliana?" Brynn broke the silence first, her voice cracking. "Is that really you?"

Leliana's lips shaped soundless words, overcome by the appearance of the one woman she was certain she'd lost forever. "Yes, _cher coeur_, it is I."

"What are you doing here?"

Leliana felt panic burn in her throat, and her traitorous eyes flicked to where Hawke sat, her fingers entwined with Anders'.

Brynn, who had always been so intuitive, narrowed her eyes. "After all you put me through, I'm not even the one you've been searching for?"

Leliana glanced warily at the crackling blue energy that was building in Brynn's fingertips. Hawke must have sensed danger and spoke first. "So, I take it you two know each other?"

Leliana dropped her gaze in shame as she took in Brynn's narrowed ones, but Anders replied for both of them. "Yes, love. Leliana was with Brynn throughout the blight – I heard a great deal about her while I was still with the Wardens in Amaranthine."

"Wait," Hawke said, glancing from Brynn to Leliana and back again. "_This _is the one that Brynn's been pining for all these years?"

Anders opened his mouth to speak, but Brynn flashed Leliana an angry glance before replying first.

"Yes. Allow me to introduce you to the woman who promised me everything," Brynn spat, her voice awash with spite, "and then left, with nothing but a letter left behind to offer her apologies. Apparantly, I wasn't good enough to merit an actual goodbye, and I haven't seen her since. Until now."

"Brynn, I –"

"– Abandoned me," Brynn emoted. "After everything we went through, after everything you –" she shook her head, her jaw tightening. "Save your empty words for someone else, Leliana. I've wasted far too much time crying over you." Her words were deadly as a poisoned blade, and Leliana felt each of them pierce her heart. She'd never thought she could feel worse for what she'd done, but hearing Brynn's broken voice, watching her struggle to tamp back her tears… this was an entirely new kind of agony.

"Let's… give these two a moment, love. Let's go for a walk." Anders stood, pulling an obviously curious Hawke to her feet after him. "Try not to kill one another," he added as they left.

* * *

The women stood facing one another. Leliana kept one hand clenched above her heart, as if to hold a tenuous grip on life. She waited for Brynn to speak, and when she did, she expected an outburst, well-deserved accusations, _anything_ but what actually happened.

Brynn watched Leliana with an accusatory glare, her shoulders shaking with ire. When she turned her back, Leliana felt her knees grow weak. If the agony this simple act caused Leliana could even begin to compare to what her Brynn had felt, then the warden was the stronger woman by far.

A single tear cut a track down Leliana's cheek as she placed an arm around Brynn. As her shoulder flinched from the contact, Leliana's heart shattered anew. "I am so sorry, Brynn. I regret it all – I always have. I felt so compelled to follow the Maker's bidding that I didn't stop to think – I only acted. If I could go back and do everything over, I swear I would."

"You left me all alone," Brynn said, raising her face to look at her. "After all that you promised, you were just… gone."

Leliana saw the faintest light in Brynn's eyes – could it be that she still felt _something_ after all these years? She grasped onto this tenuous thread of hope like a lifeline.

"Hush, _cher coeur_, I am here now. After I realized what I had done – came out of the haze of my purpose-driven crusade – I looked everywhere for you. I was told you had gone to Vigil's Keep, but by the time I got there, you had already left. Nobody knew where you had gone."

"I – I had to get away, Liana. You have no idea what it was like, there. I have no words to describe the horrors I faced…"

"I know. I only wish I had been there with you." Her heart broke for the suffering her lover had been through. "Truly, sometimes I think I am no better than Marj –"

A stern finger to her lips silenced Leliana, and Brynn's eyes were bright with conviction. "Don't say that. Never say that. No matter what you may have done, after all these years, I understand _why_ you did it."

Leliana watched mutely as her love grasped for words.

"If you've taught me anything, Liana, it's that the Maker has a plan for each one of us. I resented Him for a long time, unable to understand why He'd taken you away from me." Brynn's eyes were far away, lost in painful memories. "It wasn't until much later that I realized that, if not for Him, I never would have met you in the first place."

Brynn's lips broke into a smile, and she let out a soft laugh as she met Leliana's eyes once more. "I thought you were crazy, you know, the first time I met you. Who actually has dreams sent from the Maker Himself? But, I eventually realized you were telling the truth about your vision. After all, who in their right mind would willingly leave on a suicide mission to combat legions of monsters?"

Leliana allowed herself a small smile, she too remembering the acceptance that Brynn had given her – ludicrous though her claims had been.

"He led me to you for a reason, Liana," Brynn continued softly, "and it took me a long time to understand that you hadn't left me out of spite or malice. I thought on what you'd said in your letter a long time, and realized that if you believed the Maker had called you away from my side, it must be true." She paused, her eyes unspeakably sad. "That knowledge didn't lessen the hurt, though."

Leliana opened her mouth, intent on flooding Brynn with assurances of her conviction and regret once again, but a graceful hand stopped her. Clearly, the warden had waited a long time to say these words, and Leliana had no intentions of stopping her now.

"I eventually came to terms with your desertion, Liana. It took countless prayers to the Maker, and many long years, but I did. My peace was harder earned, though. You see, I never truly found it until I realized what I needed to do – what the _Maker_ needed me to do." Brynn's timeless eyes filled with tears, but there was a smile on her sweet lips. "I forgave you."

Leliana did not speak – _could not_ speak. She tentatively met Brynn's gaze. "Truly, _cher coeur_? You have forgiven me?"

"Truly, dear heart." Brynn smiled, and for the first time in seven long years, Leliana felt her heart begin to beat with purpose once again.

She raised her hand, pausing only for a moment before placing it gently on Brynn's tear-stained face. Her cheek fit to the curve of her palm perfectly. It was exactly the way Leliana remembered it being, those stolen moments together in Ferelden. "I swear to you, Brynn, I will never leave you again – not now that I've found you once more. I fear that all of Thedas may burn with all that has happened in the last months, but I will not leave you, no matter what your decision may be. My heart and soul have been lost for so long, but I've found them once more now that I'm here with you again. I will not give that up for anything."

Brynn raised her own hand, and as it moved to mirror her own, Leliana smiled. Her cheeks strained, the simple movement having been long forgotten to her.

"Do you truly think that Hawke – that _I_ – could make that much of a difference in this most recent disaster?" Brynn asked softly, her eyes piercing Leliana with their gaze.

Leliana paused, her smile fading. "The Divine's right hand believes so – I believe so, as well. I will not force you to do this, but I believe that were you and Hawke to accompany me to Val Royeaux, a great many things could be accomplished. Perhaps we could even end this for good, before things between the templars and mages get worse."

There was a long pause, and Brynn searched Leliana's face, as if hoping to find the answer written there.

"I cannot speak for Hawke," she began, "but I will go with you."

Leliana could not make a sound, could not focus on anything but the face she cradled in her hands. Maker forgive her, she no longer cared what happened to the rest of the world – all that mattered was that Brynn lived, and still loved her. She gently wiped away a lone tear from Brynn's cheek with her thumb.

"I love you, _cher coeur_."

Brynn smiled, and Leliana needed no affirmation apart from the flame that burned in her lover's eyes. She leaned forward, eyes unwilling to close even for a short moment after having been parted for these long years. Finally she reluctantly allowed her lashes to flutter shut, and she softly pressed her lips to Brynn's.

The scent of lily and Andraste's grace swirled around them, and Brynn sighed. Leliana's heart leapt with joy.

Surely there was nothing better that the Maker could offer than these precious moments.


End file.
